Easing Grief - Free Resources | Christine Longaker

A Simple Good-bye Ritual

by Christine Longaker

First, light a candle in front of a photo of the person you’ve lost.

If you like, you can imagine a radiant, loving presence is above you, filling the room with compassion and blessings.

Now write down three things you really want this person to know. This is especially helpful when you couldn’t be with the person when he or she died, or if the death was unexpected.

Imagine your loved one is here, in front of you, and read out loud what you’ve written.

Consider that the person has really heard you, and then, imagine how they might respond. You may want to write this down as well, and then read it out loud – allowing yourself to take it in.

Now, take a moment to notice, without judgment, how you are. With kindness and compassion, be present with whatever this brought up for you.

Remember, there’s no perfect way to make a ritual. It’s fine to adjust whatever feels right for you.

If you like, you can conclude by listening to a meditation or piece of music, or by reading a prayer or poem.

You may wish to dedicate the blessings of this ritual for your loved one, for others you know who are struggling, and for yourself – that you might find strength, and compassion, and a positive way forward in your life.

See also:

A Slightly Longer Good-bye Ritual

The Five-part Love Letter technique by John Gray

A Non-Denominational Ritual for a Group